I didn't make it to church today. I woke up with a terrible migraine, the kind that takes over half your body as well as your head. I spent the day relaxing with my family. It was a beautiful day, and we sat out on the front steps, just enjoying the day.
I'm home now. Exhausted -- the migraine and its cure will sometimes do that to me. It will be an early night unless the Yankees game captivates me. Jeff Gordon finally won last night, but it was too late for me.
I don't meet with my pastor this week for my session about pre-ordination stuff because she's traveling, but I have plenty to think about. Maybe I'll blog some of it. Last week's session was overwhelming. I have so much to read and process. I won't be officially entering the process anytime soon. Probably at least until after General Conference next year, because they are going to change the rules again.
In the morning I have to call the handler at the staffing agency and tell her I quit and hope she'll be able to place me someplace else.
Time for the game!
22 April 2007
21 April 2007
Crazy Times
I should have paid more attention to my horoscope this week to see if there was something completely bizarre in the skies causing my life to go skidding through insanity this week. Everyone around me has been telling me how great I look, how calm I seem, how it seems like everything is finally going right for me. And man, did it ever feel like that. I was starting the ordination process, was starting a new job that I thought was a great match for my skills, and was really feeling comfortable in my skin, feeling like I was really going to be able to handle my divorce and make it on my own.
That was last Sunday. Now it's Saturday. I quit the job and realized I am going to have to lie my way through the ordination process -- which was why I stopped it the first time. I'm doing OK on the divorce thing. I think.
First the job. There was a State of Emergency in my state on my first day of work. Three roads that I could take to get to the job were closed. I was 15 minutes late. It took me an hour and half to get there -- normally it takes 20 minutes. I called, but they don't have a voice mail directory on their phones so I couldn't get through to my supervisor. So I called her cell phone. Which was off. When I got there, she didn't say hello to me. She told me punctuality was important and that I should have taken a different road. Specifically a highway that WAS A PARKING LOT due to another closed road. I checked the traffic reports. Oh, she didn't check her cell phone.
Executive Vice President. Doesn't check cell phone. Right.
Later in the day, she called me into her office. I sat down and asked her what I could do for her. She said, "Nothing. You're useless to me until you know the business." Then I got a lecture on company work ethics.
Even later in the day, I got in trouble for not replying to an email she sent me. Except I never got it, because she typed the address OF THE COMPANY wrong.
On Wednesday she had me find a typewriter to type a DHL label. This was to send a package to a Vice President of McDonald's. She seemed to think he would be impressed that the label was typed. THIS MAN HAS TWO ASSISTANTS. He doesn't open his own mail. It was all I could do not to laugh at her. Three revisions on the letter to him, one version of which included this line "We look forward to building our relationship with you and the McDonald's." No, I didn't put the extra "the" there by accident. I actually had to remove it. There were scripts on how to page people over the phone, but the EVP didn't have a mastery of basic grammar. (Neither did the Director of Marketing.)
After countless lectures and being told daily that I was useless to her, I got to Friday. One thing I know how to do is prioritize work. For example, if there is a $30 million bid due in five days, that prep work is more important than making a list of companies we need Annual Reports from. Ah, but I was wrong. Priorities are made by what lands on your desk next. You are to cease working on a project and immediately begin working on the project she hands you, regardless of what you are working on. Also, you are not to hand her things or leave them on her desk and you are never to interrupt her, but you must constantly give her updates as to your progress. Further, it is not good enough to print out the Annual Reports from the company websites, you must call each company and request the hard copies. Now.
Oh, did I mention that she doesn't have a database? Her contacts are all in Word files. Word. Files. In Binders. Not even in Outlook. There's not even a database for the sales department. Not even an Excel spreadsheet. Each salesperson keeps their data however they want to keep it.
One thing I absolutely hate is when a company wastes money. When a salesperson can't immediately put their hands on contact information, that's a waste of money. (It's also a waste of money when you don't have your catalog information in a spreadsheet available to your salespersons for use in RFP's so that they have to type product codes in by hand everytime.)
Apparently somebody got smart and realized they needed a database so they bought ACT! Good choice. Coincidentally, I'm very familiar with ACT! and designed a new ACT! database for my old company, combining two databases. I know how to customize the forms and import data from various sources. In fact, I even know how to get those Word files into a format that ACT! will accept. Those poor people are totally lost. The person they have in charge of the whole thing is their Director of Research and Development. He invents the products for the company. So the President says to me, "Do you know ACT!?" And I said, "Yes, I do. I've been using it for five years." And he says, "Excellent! We can use you as a resource!"
My boss says, "Absolutely not! She knows nothing about the industry!"
So instead of using me and my expertise (and significantly lower salary), she was choosing to use her top managers. The waste of time and money will be staggering, and there will be probably be errors that could corrupt their data because their source data is not in the right format for import. But what do I know?
Foolish.
There was more. So much more. So much you would hardly believe I was only there for five days. But it was all capped off when she reminded me again that I should be responding to each email she sends me as an acknowledgement. I was totally confused, because I hadn't gotten any emails from her. I chalked it up to her insanity. Then this morning I checked my personal email -- the one I use for my resume and job search -- and there were three emails from her. She was sending them to the wrong fucking email address.
That was last Sunday. Now it's Saturday. I quit the job and realized I am going to have to lie my way through the ordination process -- which was why I stopped it the first time. I'm doing OK on the divorce thing. I think.
First the job. There was a State of Emergency in my state on my first day of work. Three roads that I could take to get to the job were closed. I was 15 minutes late. It took me an hour and half to get there -- normally it takes 20 minutes. I called, but they don't have a voice mail directory on their phones so I couldn't get through to my supervisor. So I called her cell phone. Which was off. When I got there, she didn't say hello to me. She told me punctuality was important and that I should have taken a different road. Specifically a highway that WAS A PARKING LOT due to another closed road. I checked the traffic reports. Oh, she didn't check her cell phone.
Executive Vice President. Doesn't check cell phone. Right.
Later in the day, she called me into her office. I sat down and asked her what I could do for her. She said, "Nothing. You're useless to me until you know the business." Then I got a lecture on company work ethics.
Even later in the day, I got in trouble for not replying to an email she sent me. Except I never got it, because she typed the address OF THE COMPANY wrong.
On Wednesday she had me find a typewriter to type a DHL label. This was to send a package to a Vice President of McDonald's. She seemed to think he would be impressed that the label was typed. THIS MAN HAS TWO ASSISTANTS. He doesn't open his own mail. It was all I could do not to laugh at her. Three revisions on the letter to him, one version of which included this line "We look forward to building our relationship with you and the McDonald's." No, I didn't put the extra "the" there by accident. I actually had to remove it. There were scripts on how to page people over the phone, but the EVP didn't have a mastery of basic grammar. (Neither did the Director of Marketing.)
After countless lectures and being told daily that I was useless to her, I got to Friday. One thing I know how to do is prioritize work. For example, if there is a $30 million bid due in five days, that prep work is more important than making a list of companies we need Annual Reports from. Ah, but I was wrong. Priorities are made by what lands on your desk next. You are to cease working on a project and immediately begin working on the project she hands you, regardless of what you are working on. Also, you are not to hand her things or leave them on her desk and you are never to interrupt her, but you must constantly give her updates as to your progress. Further, it is not good enough to print out the Annual Reports from the company websites, you must call each company and request the hard copies. Now.
Oh, did I mention that she doesn't have a database? Her contacts are all in Word files. Word. Files. In Binders. Not even in Outlook. There's not even a database for the sales department. Not even an Excel spreadsheet. Each salesperson keeps their data however they want to keep it.
One thing I absolutely hate is when a company wastes money. When a salesperson can't immediately put their hands on contact information, that's a waste of money. (It's also a waste of money when you don't have your catalog information in a spreadsheet available to your salespersons for use in RFP's so that they have to type product codes in by hand everytime.)
Apparently somebody got smart and realized they needed a database so they bought ACT! Good choice. Coincidentally, I'm very familiar with ACT! and designed a new ACT! database for my old company, combining two databases. I know how to customize the forms and import data from various sources. In fact, I even know how to get those Word files into a format that ACT! will accept. Those poor people are totally lost. The person they have in charge of the whole thing is their Director of Research and Development. He invents the products for the company. So the President says to me, "Do you know ACT!?" And I said, "Yes, I do. I've been using it for five years." And he says, "Excellent! We can use you as a resource!"
My boss says, "Absolutely not! She knows nothing about the industry!"
So instead of using me and my expertise (and significantly lower salary), she was choosing to use her top managers. The waste of time and money will be staggering, and there will be probably be errors that could corrupt their data because their source data is not in the right format for import. But what do I know?
Foolish.
There was more. So much more. So much you would hardly believe I was only there for five days. But it was all capped off when she reminded me again that I should be responding to each email she sends me as an acknowledgement. I was totally confused, because I hadn't gotten any emails from her. I chalked it up to her insanity. Then this morning I checked my personal email -- the one I use for my resume and job search -- and there were three emails from her. She was sending them to the wrong fucking email address.
06 April 2007
Who?
You’re St. Melito of Sardis! You have a great love of history and liturgy. You’re attached to the traditions of the ancients, yet you recognize that the old world — great as it was — is passing away. You are loyal to the customs of your family, though you do not hesitate to call family members to account for their sins. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers! |
30 March 2007
Hallelujah!
I'm letting an early Hallelujah slip because I have reason to be especially joyful this day -- prayers have been answered! I'm employed!! Praise God!
I went to this interview on Monday afternoon at a staffing agency and the handler said I have just the job for you... My previous experience with agencies has been less than good, so I was a little skeptical. I have talked to this lady no less than three times a day everyday since then. The very next day she had an interview lined up for me. I called the person doing the hiring and had a wonderful conversation with her and scheduled an in-person interview with her for yesterday. I met with her and really liked her. She's going to be demanding but also the type of person who will mentor you. Apparently they loved me because they contacted my handler right away to make an offer!!
I'm so relieved! Money was getting really tight there for awhile! They made an excellent salary offer so it looks like I'll be able to stay in my apartment, which is a total blessing. It's very convenient to the new job and church is less than a minute away. I am so thanking God right now.
I start in two weeks, which is good because I need to start getting back into the rhythm of getting up early, especially with fitting in my prayer and Bible reading time.
God is good!!
I went to this interview on Monday afternoon at a staffing agency and the handler said I have just the job for you... My previous experience with agencies has been less than good, so I was a little skeptical. I have talked to this lady no less than three times a day everyday since then. The very next day she had an interview lined up for me. I called the person doing the hiring and had a wonderful conversation with her and scheduled an in-person interview with her for yesterday. I met with her and really liked her. She's going to be demanding but also the type of person who will mentor you. Apparently they loved me because they contacted my handler right away to make an offer!!
I'm so relieved! Money was getting really tight there for awhile! They made an excellent salary offer so it looks like I'll be able to stay in my apartment, which is a total blessing. It's very convenient to the new job and church is less than a minute away. I am so thanking God right now.
I start in two weeks, which is good because I need to start getting back into the rhythm of getting up early, especially with fitting in my prayer and Bible reading time.
God is good!!
27 March 2007
Bizarro
There was an Evangelism committee meeting today and being unemployed I could actually make it so off I trotted to church at noon. I hadn't planned on that, but I picked up the church newsletter off the floor and saw the calendar with the meeting time on it so I went. First time in months. They have a lot of cool stuff going on.
After the meeting, my pastor and I had a long talk. Apparently the assistant pastor, a Licensed Local Pastor is leaving our church and not taking another church -- she's leaving the process to go back to school full-time to get her MTS. She'll be working as an Admissions Rep at the University. We are both shocked. Leaving the process is a very big deal.
The assistant pastor position was created especially for her, and they won't be hiring someone in her place. Our talk today covered some of the responsibilities I'll be taking over as I proceed into candidacy. It's exciting but a little daunting. All I can do is pray that I continue to hear God's call.
People are telling me how great last week's Lenten Study was, and are asking me to do a study in the fall. That's good confirmation for the plans I have in place.
The agency called me today to let me know a company would like to do a phone interview with me. So I am calling them tomorrow morning. Busy day.
It's 75 degrees out today. Gorgeous.
After the meeting, my pastor and I had a long talk. Apparently the assistant pastor, a Licensed Local Pastor is leaving our church and not taking another church -- she's leaving the process to go back to school full-time to get her MTS. She'll be working as an Admissions Rep at the University. We are both shocked. Leaving the process is a very big deal.
The assistant pastor position was created especially for her, and they won't be hiring someone in her place. Our talk today covered some of the responsibilities I'll be taking over as I proceed into candidacy. It's exciting but a little daunting. All I can do is pray that I continue to hear God's call.
People are telling me how great last week's Lenten Study was, and are asking me to do a study in the fall. That's good confirmation for the plans I have in place.
The agency called me today to let me know a company would like to do a phone interview with me. So I am calling them tomorrow morning. Busy day.
It's 75 degrees out today. Gorgeous.
26 March 2007
Renewal
My pastor and I are talking about doing an "Adult Confirmation" program next year to coincide with Confirmation. I'd like to present it as an opportunity for people to rediscover and explore their faith. I wrote a Confirmation curriculum about 10 years ago that I think would be transferable here; I'm going to work on an outline and see where we go.
I also need to work on the Easter Dawn service this week. The tough part is going to be the sermon. I want to get it done this week just in case I'm working next week.
My interview today went well, I think. It was with an agency and they were pleased with my test scores as well as my experience. They seemed to have about three jobs they thought I could be presented for. I am continuing to pray that I will simply hear God's call.
I can't believe it's March 26. I've been separated for six months already. It's been a long haul, but I'm doing really well for myself. I'm going to make it.
I also need to work on the Easter Dawn service this week. The tough part is going to be the sermon. I want to get it done this week just in case I'm working next week.
My interview today went well, I think. It was with an agency and they were pleased with my test scores as well as my experience. They seemed to have about three jobs they thought I could be presented for. I am continuing to pray that I will simply hear God's call.
I can't believe it's March 26. I've been separated for six months already. It's been a long haul, but I'm doing really well for myself. I'm going to make it.
23 March 2007
Friday Five:Rivers in the Desert
I found a community on the web called RevGalBlogPals. There are some great posts and it is a network of awesome people. Today is FridayFive day. I haven't done anything like this is such a very long time!
I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19, NRSV
As we near the end of the long journey toward Easter, a busy time for pastors and layfolk alike, I ponder the words of Isaiah and the relief and refreshment of a river in the desert.
For this Friday Five, name five practices, activities, people or _____ (feel free to fill in something I may be forgetting) that for you are rivers in the desert.
1. Singing. I turn on my iTunes on my computer and just pick songs to sing, pretending like I'm some big star. An hour of that and I'm totally refreshed, renewed and ready for whatever comes next. I'm also known to do this in the car.
2. Driving. Not ecologically sound (though I do drive a Honda), I love to just get in my car and get lost in the country. Once I ended up in Pennsylvania with no reasonable idea of how to get home. It was awesome.
3. Camping. Getting away by a lake with a stack of books, a campfire and the stars -- I know I can face the world again.
4. Prayer. A little prayer in the middle of a rotten day can make all the difference.
5. Communion. When I have Communion, I really feel like I am a part of something and I leave the church with a sense that I matter to both God and my faith community. It lifts me up till the next time I see them again.
I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19, NRSV
As we near the end of the long journey toward Easter, a busy time for pastors and layfolk alike, I ponder the words of Isaiah and the relief and refreshment of a river in the desert.
For this Friday Five, name five practices, activities, people or _____ (feel free to fill in something I may be forgetting) that for you are rivers in the desert.
1. Singing. I turn on my iTunes on my computer and just pick songs to sing, pretending like I'm some big star. An hour of that and I'm totally refreshed, renewed and ready for whatever comes next. I'm also known to do this in the car.
2. Driving. Not ecologically sound (though I do drive a Honda), I love to just get in my car and get lost in the country. Once I ended up in Pennsylvania with no reasonable idea of how to get home. It was awesome.
3. Camping. Getting away by a lake with a stack of books, a campfire and the stars -- I know I can face the world again.
4. Prayer. A little prayer in the middle of a rotten day can make all the difference.
5. Communion. When I have Communion, I really feel like I am a part of something and I leave the church with a sense that I matter to both God and my faith community. It lifts me up till the next time I see them again.
22 March 2007
Confirmation
Last night's Lenten study and Communion service couldn't have gone any better. I was really prepared for it, so I wasn't nervous. I had a guest Elder coming to consecrate the elements for the service - his name was Blessings, he was from Africa and he was AMAZING! The kind of man that just being in his presence made you peaceful.
I started out by talking about my varied Communion experiences in my life. I've probably been to about 10 different types of churches in my 33 years, and the all seem to do Communion a little differently. We talked about how in the United Methodist church Communion has only recently gone from a quarterly to a monthly celebration, and now with the 2004 General Conference we're starting to slowly move toward weekly Communion services, or at the very least, adding Special Communion Services. Then they shared their experiences of frequency of Communion and the way it was shared-- at the rail or intinction, or passed in the pew.
Then I passed out copies of the Great Thanksgiving for Early Lent and went through each section with them, talking about the Trinitarian nature of the prayer and how we have these special settings for special times of the year as reminders of the season we're in. I pulled out specific phrases for them to notice, and then we came together to have Communion. Blessings asked me to help consecrate the elements, which really excited me. I love doing that. It's been a very long time since I have, too, but it came back to me!
Overall, it was a successful night. My pastor sent me an email telling me what a great job I did -- a gold star, she said. But really, the best part was feeling like what I was doing was right. I am becoming more comfortable with my calling, and even though it will be a long time before I am ordained, I know there are many things I can do in the meantime to fulfill it.
Next on my agenda is planning the Easter Dawn Service. This will be the third year I have planned it. It's like my little baby now. I can be pretty creative with it, which makes it both fun and a challenge. What sorts of things do you do with your Dawn Services?
I started out by talking about my varied Communion experiences in my life. I've probably been to about 10 different types of churches in my 33 years, and the all seem to do Communion a little differently. We talked about how in the United Methodist church Communion has only recently gone from a quarterly to a monthly celebration, and now with the 2004 General Conference we're starting to slowly move toward weekly Communion services, or at the very least, adding Special Communion Services. Then they shared their experiences of frequency of Communion and the way it was shared-- at the rail or intinction, or passed in the pew.
Then I passed out copies of the Great Thanksgiving for Early Lent and went through each section with them, talking about the Trinitarian nature of the prayer and how we have these special settings for special times of the year as reminders of the season we're in. I pulled out specific phrases for them to notice, and then we came together to have Communion. Blessings asked me to help consecrate the elements, which really excited me. I love doing that. It's been a very long time since I have, too, but it came back to me!
Overall, it was a successful night. My pastor sent me an email telling me what a great job I did -- a gold star, she said. But really, the best part was feeling like what I was doing was right. I am becoming more comfortable with my calling, and even though it will be a long time before I am ordained, I know there are many things I can do in the meantime to fulfill it.
Next on my agenda is planning the Easter Dawn Service. This will be the third year I have planned it. It's like my little baby now. I can be pretty creative with it, which makes it both fun and a challenge. What sorts of things do you do with your Dawn Services?
21 March 2007
Teacher, teacher!
Tonight I'm teaching at church from "This Holy Mystery", the study on Communion General Conference approved in 2004. The focus for tonight is the Great Thanksgiving in the Communion ritual.
Which is kind of ironic, because even though I am seminary-trained, I'm not actually allowed to celebrate the Great Thanksgiving. Won't be for quite awhile. But I guess I'm qualified enough to talk about it.
I applied for two more jobs today, both with agencies. I have not had good experiences with agencies in the past. Basically, they just end up interviewing me and I never hear from them again. But the two jobs were nearby and had very good salaries so I made an exception.
I got an email from one job today saying my resume had been forwarded to the hiring manager -- which is a good thing! That job would be a good job -- I have experience in the industry and if I got it my old bosses would faint knowing I was working there. I'd love it! Plus, it's a job with the opportunity for advancement. Keep your fingers crossed.
Which is kind of ironic, because even though I am seminary-trained, I'm not actually allowed to celebrate the Great Thanksgiving. Won't be for quite awhile. But I guess I'm qualified enough to talk about it.
I applied for two more jobs today, both with agencies. I have not had good experiences with agencies in the past. Basically, they just end up interviewing me and I never hear from them again. But the two jobs were nearby and had very good salaries so I made an exception.
I got an email from one job today saying my resume had been forwarded to the hiring manager -- which is a good thing! That job would be a good job -- I have experience in the industry and if I got it my old bosses would faint knowing I was working there. I'd love it! Plus, it's a job with the opportunity for advancement. Keep your fingers crossed.
19 March 2007
Welcome Back
It's been awhile since I've posted. I guess I wasn't really motivated for awhile. It feels like a good time to toe back in.
I've spending a lot of time thinking about ordination lately. I have a lot of time to think, being unemployed. For about three weeks, I kept praying that God would help me find a job. The job market here is abyssmal. I'm lucky if I find two jobs a week to apply to.
Last week I was in church and the assistant pastor was explaining that this week I'd be leading the Lenten study since she would be away on vacation. Since I joined the church, I've filled in and assisted on various occasions, including preaching. I was musing about this while she finished the announcement, thinking about the time when I would be ordained and such things would be my full-time work. And then it dawned on me that I had forgotten something very important about my vocation and calling -- my day jobs are just what I do "in the meantime". They aren't my vocation, and they aren't my calling, and here at this juncture, when I'm stepping off to to such an important phase of my journey, perhaps I was praying for the wrong thing. Perhaps I ought to focus on praying that I hear God's call in my life clearly.
So I tried that, and it has already made a difference in my thinking. Much of my anxiety about finding a job has faded, and I have found a peace that I have missed. Granted, I still need to find a job that pays my bills, but for the first time in six months I am actually feeling hope for my life.
I've spending a lot of time thinking about ordination lately. I have a lot of time to think, being unemployed. For about three weeks, I kept praying that God would help me find a job. The job market here is abyssmal. I'm lucky if I find two jobs a week to apply to.
Last week I was in church and the assistant pastor was explaining that this week I'd be leading the Lenten study since she would be away on vacation. Since I joined the church, I've filled in and assisted on various occasions, including preaching. I was musing about this while she finished the announcement, thinking about the time when I would be ordained and such things would be my full-time work. And then it dawned on me that I had forgotten something very important about my vocation and calling -- my day jobs are just what I do "in the meantime". They aren't my vocation, and they aren't my calling, and here at this juncture, when I'm stepping off to to such an important phase of my journey, perhaps I was praying for the wrong thing. Perhaps I ought to focus on praying that I hear God's call in my life clearly.
So I tried that, and it has already made a difference in my thinking. Much of my anxiety about finding a job has faded, and I have found a peace that I have missed. Granted, I still need to find a job that pays my bills, but for the first time in six months I am actually feeling hope for my life.
31 January 2007
I've been working on a railroad
Well, not really, but I have been pretty busy. I'm working on a Lenten Bible Study that I want to try to get published. My not-husband, the one I'm separated from is very sick, maybe deathly ill, and that's got my really worried. We've got a great relationship, we just can't live together. Sunday I came down to my parents because I needed to take my dad to the eye doctor early Monday morning, and I've been here since then. Monday I applied for a job -- the application took me 1.5 hours. But I got called back today!!!
I've been reading some disturbing stuff about the war - like that the soldiers are discouraged to hear that the American public is not supportive of the war. I hate to think of the soldiers losing morale because of the rhetoric coming from the US. I'm not saying every soldier is a shining example of virtue, but you can't paint every other soldier with such a wide paintbrush. I've written this before, but if we leave now, there will be a humanitarian crisis - and I don't understand why the peace protestors don't see that. We must strive for peace with justice, and in this case we need to use arms to achieve that.
I'm not saying we should've started this war. And Bush lied. A lot. But withdraw support for our troops at this juncture is criminal.
I've been reading some disturbing stuff about the war - like that the soldiers are discouraged to hear that the American public is not supportive of the war. I hate to think of the soldiers losing morale because of the rhetoric coming from the US. I'm not saying every soldier is a shining example of virtue, but you can't paint every other soldier with such a wide paintbrush. I've written this before, but if we leave now, there will be a humanitarian crisis - and I don't understand why the peace protestors don't see that. We must strive for peace with justice, and in this case we need to use arms to achieve that.
I'm not saying we should've started this war. And Bush lied. A lot. But withdraw support for our troops at this juncture is criminal.
22 January 2007
Bad News for Kosovo
and perhaps some prophecy for Iraq.
Serbian election unsettles Western hopes - International Herald Tribune
Serbia wants the land of Kosovo, not the people on it. Kosovo, the land, is where most of the Very Big Battles have been fought in Serbian history. They identify with the land. The people on the land -- the mostly ethnic Albanians -- they could do without, and they already tried genocide on them once in the last decade. The only thing stopping them from doing it now is KFOR and the chance they'll get bombed again.
With these elections, it shows that nationalism doesn't just go away. Bush thinks you can just "do democracy" and they'll suddenly be all set for fair and equitable government. I don't think it works that way. The people in Serbia want one step away from Communism. They want their dictator Milosevic back. (too bad he's not available). We might be better off spending sometime figuring out why that is... why that situation exists all around the world, and what we can do to effect change in that behavior.
Probably someone's already written about that. Might need to head to the library.
Serbian election unsettles Western hopes - International Herald Tribune
Serbia wants the land of Kosovo, not the people on it. Kosovo, the land, is where most of the Very Big Battles have been fought in Serbian history. They identify with the land. The people on the land -- the mostly ethnic Albanians -- they could do without, and they already tried genocide on them once in the last decade. The only thing stopping them from doing it now is KFOR and the chance they'll get bombed again.
With these elections, it shows that nationalism doesn't just go away. Bush thinks you can just "do democracy" and they'll suddenly be all set for fair and equitable government. I don't think it works that way. The people in Serbia want one step away from Communism. They want their dictator Milosevic back. (too bad he's not available). We might be better off spending sometime figuring out why that is... why that situation exists all around the world, and what we can do to effect change in that behavior.
Probably someone's already written about that. Might need to head to the library.
20 January 2007
Saturday Thoughts
I've been really struggling with the issue of the war lately. People want us to withdraw and go to Darfur, but the reality is iof we were in Darfur and genocide were happening in Iraq, they'd be saying go to Iraq. Look at Kosovo. KFOR is still there and they dare not leave, because it's a tinderbox of religious hate. I think it's hard for some Americans to understand that level of hate and fear. We have our whacked out groups that hate, and they get it, but the average American doesn't get it. You can't even make analogies. It's likeLutherans hating United Methodists because they take their heritage from Wesley instead of Luther himself. And the Lutherans would declare the United Methodists not real Christians. And along the way people would get killed, because their would be misunderstandings about what the Methodists believed. Eventually, it would all just fall apart and it would be a wrest for power. More killing. But that analogy only works conceptually, because the chances of Lutherans and Methodists fighting over something is ridiculous -- because nowhere do they have power to fight over.
In Iraq, the Sunni and the Shi'a have a great deal to fight over, because whoever wins gets to persecute the other side. It's a matter of honor. And if the Shi'a manage to win you can bet two things will happen: 1) the Sunnis will get theres for the 20 year reign of terror they had on the Shiites and 2) there will be an alliance with Shia-strong Iran. The Sunni Shiite issue is starting to color incidents in the rest of the Middle East, in places like Lebanon, where the government is Sunni, but Hezbollah is Shiite, and they have maneuvered themselves into a favorable position for elections.
How do we get peace among terrorists? What would Gahndi say? What would Martin Luther King, Jr. say to us? Would they say get our people out and let God sort it out? Are we to turn the other cheek to terrorists?
This are the things I think about. Luckily now I'll have lot's more time on my hands to think about it.
Here's something a soldier wrote. He just died in Iraq from an improvised explosive device. He died with three other men. Read what he wrote. One thing I know, is I don't want to turn into a person who just thinks about this stuff.
2LT Mark Daily
In Iraq, the Sunni and the Shi'a have a great deal to fight over, because whoever wins gets to persecute the other side. It's a matter of honor. And if the Shi'a manage to win you can bet two things will happen: 1) the Sunnis will get theres for the 20 year reign of terror they had on the Shiites and 2) there will be an alliance with Shia-strong Iran. The Sunni Shiite issue is starting to color incidents in the rest of the Middle East, in places like Lebanon, where the government is Sunni, but Hezbollah is Shiite, and they have maneuvered themselves into a favorable position for elections.
How do we get peace among terrorists? What would Gahndi say? What would Martin Luther King, Jr. say to us? Would they say get our people out and let God sort it out? Are we to turn the other cheek to terrorists?
This are the things I think about. Luckily now I'll have lot's more time on my hands to think about it.
Here's something a soldier wrote. He just died in Iraq from an improvised explosive device. He died with three other men. Read what he wrote. One thing I know, is I don't want to turn into a person who just thinks about this stuff.
2LT Mark Daily
19 January 2007
Good Stuff for Friday
I've spent much of the day reading. Reading a book, reading Want Ads and doing research about Iraq. It is weighing on my heart so much. Here's something I found during my wanderings. Enjoy and pass it on. Thanks to BLACKFIVE.
The first is a homegrown version of a video for the song, the second is an official video.
Share.
The first is a homegrown version of a video for the song, the second is an official video.
"I had three of the four guys on the ground that died that day. I was so heartbroken after I passed out all the flags at the memorial service. I was just thinking about the bagpiper, who is also a retired SEAL captain, standing there literally crying the song out of the bagpipes. We were all so sad. When I came home my wife said I should write down some words. Tim called me and asked how I was doing. I told him I wrote this poem and he said well let me have it. We went back and forth on the phone and decided to make it a tribute to everyone from World War II to the present." Navy SEAL Commander Mark WaddellThis song is the result.
Share.
18 January 2007
The Yob That Wasn't
I got let go from my job the other day. I'm still in the shock and awe stage, with a slow build of anger at God.
Three months ago my husband left me. Now I lose my job. I was living paycheck to paycheck to begin with, now I have no money to pay my rent at all. I'm feeling very bitter and betrayed.
Three months ago my husband left me. Now I lose my job. I was living paycheck to paycheck to begin with, now I have no money to pay my rent at all. I'm feeling very bitter and betrayed.
15 January 2007
A Yob that Might Suck
You know those little strips that they use for the products at McDonald's? Plastic, with translucent lettering.
Imagine if it was your job to have to send those little suckers out to every McDonalds in the US.
That would be a little too tedious for me.
Imagine if it was your job to have to send those little suckers out to every McDonalds in the US.
That would be a little too tedious for me.
09 January 2007
Mudpie
Today I had a short To Do list. I also got evaluated on how well I respond to calls. I didn't do too bad. In fact, I got the impression they were trying to find things to say. What they did say was useful.
I still hate the job, though.
Regardless, I made it through the day. And I managed to do it without obsessing about the ordination process. It's going to take me 5 years. Obsessing for 5 years is not on the plan. I do enough obsessing on a day to day basis. I don't need an over-arching obsession.
Tonight it is a writing night. I've got the iPod hooked up to the stereo and the laptop ready to go. My main problem is that I write very concisely. I've been praised for that in the past but now I'm writing fiction... I need to be rich in the details. So my plan is to write the whole thing out, then go back through and read it and think through where the details need to go. That's the way I've gotta go for right now.
I still hate the job, though.
Regardless, I made it through the day. And I managed to do it without obsessing about the ordination process. It's going to take me 5 years. Obsessing for 5 years is not on the plan. I do enough obsessing on a day to day basis. I don't need an over-arching obsession.
Tonight it is a writing night. I've got the iPod hooked up to the stereo and the laptop ready to go. My main problem is that I write very concisely. I've been praised for that in the past but now I'm writing fiction... I need to be rich in the details. So my plan is to write the whole thing out, then go back through and read it and think through where the details need to go. That's the way I've gotta go for right now.
08 January 2007
Alone on the Prairie
I work in Customer Service for a technology company. I work from home. For about half the day I answer questions by email from users of our products. For the other half, my boss gives me a list of things to do, like write to do articles, do research on our users, or other stuff. My boss and I don't get along. We have a very different approach to writing and customer service in general. Actually, everything was going pretty well until they hired the other person on my team who is practically perfect in everyway. That coincided with my husband leaving me and my subsequent several weeks of living in a fog. Yeah, it affected my job performance. But you'd maybe think there'd be some compassion. No. Decidedly no compassion. For anything. Ever. My dad had surgery, no one asked how he was doing. I left work early one day to go to the ER with an asthma attack -- not one word. I got bronchitis -- no hope you feel better.
So I know I'm just a body.
Over Christmas the boss was gone so we had to make our own To Do lists. No biggie, I muddled through, got a lot accomplished. Now it's after Christmas, the boss is back... and I'm still making my To Do lists. My cohort is not. I am trying desperately to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Is it me or is that just weird?
So I know I'm just a body.
Over Christmas the boss was gone so we had to make our own To Do lists. No biggie, I muddled through, got a lot accomplished. Now it's after Christmas, the boss is back... and I'm still making my To Do lists. My cohort is not. I am trying desperately to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Is it me or is that just weird?
07 January 2007
Moving Day
Today's a brand-new day for me and blogging. For about a year I've been really lazy about keeping up with my blog. And I've missed it. So hopefully with a new home and a renewed sense of purpose, I'll stick with it.
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