Welcome Back

It's been awhile since I've posted. I guess I wasn't really motivated for awhile. It feels like a good time to toe back in.

I've spending a lot of time thinking about ordination lately. I have a lot of time to think, being unemployed. For about three weeks, I kept praying that God would help me find a job. The job market here is abyssmal. I'm lucky if I find two jobs a week to apply to.

Last week I was in church and the assistant pastor was explaining that this week I'd be leading the Lenten study since she would be away on vacation. Since I joined the church, I've filled in and assisted on various occasions, including preaching. I was musing about this while she finished the announcement, thinking about the time when I would be ordained and such things would be my full-time work. And then it dawned on me that I had forgotten something very important about my vocation and calling -- my day jobs are just what I do "in the meantime". They aren't my vocation, and they aren't my calling, and here at this juncture, when I'm stepping off to to such an important phase of my journey, perhaps I was praying for the wrong thing. Perhaps I ought to focus on praying that I hear God's call in my life clearly.

So I tried that, and it has already made a difference in my thinking. Much of my anxiety about finding a job has faded, and I have found a peace that I have missed. Granted, I still need to find a job that pays my bills, but for the first time in six months I am actually feeling hope for my life.